Director Hungary shoots a TV show
by punyfairies
Summary: Hungary is shooting a TV show. Yes she is. She tries to satisfy her innermost cravings for some cute boy action…Bonus includes The Awesome Show hosted by Poland and Lithuania.
1. Episode 1

I do not own anything.

Hungary is shooting a TV show. Yes she is. She tries to satisfy her innermost cravings for some cute boy action…

Normal font = Dialogue

_Italics_ = Narrator's point of view; describes what is happening at that moment.

Director: Hungary

Script writer: Hungary

Camera: Hungary

Artistic Director: Hungary

Costume Design: Poland

Makeup artist: Poland

Running Errands: Lithuania

Director Hungary: "ALL RIGHT! EVERYONE IN POSITION! We're rolling in 3..2…1…"

**EPISODE 1**

**Scene 1**_On the street_

Gilbert: "O beautiful Roderich! I cannot believe that we meet in this glorious—Ach, goddammit, Elizaveta, do I have to do this?"

Director Hungary: "Yes you do. You signed the contract."

Gilbert: "Yeah, well? I WAS DRUNK."

Director Hungary: "Be quiet. WE'RE ROLLING AGAIN IN 3..2..1.."

Gilbert: "Roderich~ Let us walk to my place together~"

_Camera rolls to the other side. Off the camera, Gilbert is gagging silently into a trash can sympathetically held by Toris._

Roderich: "Gilbert, I am so glad we get to share this romantic walk to 'your place', when I know you have no place to live and is crashing at Ludwig's indefinitely—"

Director Hungary: "CUT! Roderich, STICK TO THE SCRIPT!"

Roderich: "Elizaveta, I beseech your royal cameraness, can we please forget about this silly little whim of yours?"

Director Hungary: "But darling Roderich, you signed the contract as well!"

Roderich: "That is because you held my best piano hostage."

_Roderich shakes his head as the whole crew moves onto another set_

**Scene 2**_Inside Gilbert's home_

Gilbert: "Roderich! Your beauty baffles me! Your thick, lustrous hair, your deep, mysterious eyes, and O that beauty mark of yours! It only accentuates your slightly parted, tempting lips—Wait a minute, ELIZAVETA, what kind of garbage script is this? GROSS. LITHUANIA! Where'd you put that garbage can?"

Director Hungary: "JUST. SAY. IT."

Gilbert: "But why does Roderich sound like a fucking woman? I mean, not that he isn't one, but still. This sickens even the almighty me."

Director Hungary: "That is the _point_. MOVING ON!"

Roderich: "Oh my, thank you very much! Oh…Lord…Elizaveta, I absolutely refuse to giggle."

Director Hungary: "Now now, don't be so difficult, Roderich. It is merely a high-pitched laughter. Let's go!"

Roderich: "Heh..heh…..." _He facepalms_"I…can't…do…this…"

Director Hungary: "Let's try that again! 3..2..1.."

Roderich: "Why thank you Gilbert! Hah…"

Director Hungary: "…Let's come back to this scene later."

**Scene 3**_Dinner-Feliciano and Ludwig enter_

Feliciano: "Ve~ Thanks for cooking us pasta, Roderich! It is delicious!"

Roderich: "I'm glad you enjoy it! Here, Ludwig, you have some more too!"

Feliciano: "Eh~ I dropped some pasta sauce on my shirt! Ludwig, would you mind wiping it off?"

_Distantly Poland can be heard shouting, "EHMYGAWD! You did NOT just get food on my gorge clothes! Cut! CUTTTT!" He is completely ignored._

Ludwig: "Uh, sure. Here's a napkin. Just do it yourself."

Director Hungary: "CUT! Ludwig, what is with that attitude? You were supposed to tenderly wipe it off while fluttering your eyelids!"

Ludwig: "…My life is already difficult enough without this okay? I know I signed the stupid contract of doom, but I was having a DRINKING CONTEST with my brother and anything I might have done afterwards DOES NOT COUNT."

Director Hungary: "I choose to ignore that point. 3..2..1.."

Gilbert: "O Roderich! Even your cooking is perfect, just like you~" _he gags_

Roderich: "Oh I'll cook for you everyday if you want~" _He makes a motion to pat Gilbert's hands—_"…Elizaveta. I absolutely will not touch him. What are the consequences if we just quit now? Anything has to be better than this."

_Director Hungary looks at him sweetly and replies, "Oh, nothing too awful. If you violate the contract, you'll just have to submit yourself at France's mercy for one week."_

Roderich: "…Nevermind. Let us continue."

Director Hungary: "That's the spirit! Everyone stick to the script! 3..2..1.."

Feliciano: "Ludwig…Can we stay here tonight? We can share a room and sleep together like we always do~"

Ludwig: "ARRRGGHH! ITALIA! Take your hand OFF of my thigh!" _His face becomes scarlet._

Feliciano: "Eh? But the script says—"

Director Hungary: "… 'Touch Ludwig's thighs softly while smiling sweetly.' Yes Feliciano, you're doing a wonderful job!"

Ludwig: "WHAT IS THIS? _WHAT IS THIS?_ I'd rather deal with FRANCIS."

_Everyone watches as Ludwig angrily stomps off the set, muttering how he can probably beat up ten of Francis and that he will never have another drinking contest again. EVER._

**Scene 4**_Later at night_

Gilbert: "Ah, since Feliciano and Ludwig left, it would seem that we are alone."

Roderich: "Ah, it would seem so." _He blushes endearingly._

Poland: "Wait! Liet! Fetch me more blush! It's in the top right drawer…Austria, would you please stop looking white as a ghost? I swear I just put so much blush on you and it's totally not showing up at all…"

Director Hungary: "Poland, while you're at it, can you also gloss his lips and put some mascara on him? He's supposed to look smoky and tempting."

Poland: "I'm on it!"

_Poland smiles creepily as he imagines how to best dress up Roderich—oh yes, that man really does look so fetching as a high-class, yet tempting woman…_

Gilbert: "Hey Roderich, you don't look half bad." _He snickers uncontrollably._"Maybe you should have been born a woman. Aww, look at how _pretty_ you look! That beauty mark really _does_accentuate how _shiny_ your lips are~" _He begins laughing like a maniac._

Roderich: "Be silent. Let's just get this over with so I never have to see your face again."

Gilbert: "Aw, I'm actually kind of enjoying looking at how stupid you look."

Director Hungary: "WE ROLL AGAIN IN 3..2..1.."

Gilbert: "Oh Roddy~ I'll lead you on a tour of my room okay?"

Roderich: "Roddy? Seriously, Elizaveta? What were you drinking when you wrote this script? Ah, fine. Okay! I'll gladly grace your room with my presence!"

_They move out of the view of the camera._

Director Hungary: "CUT! That was perfect! Great work everyone!"

**Scene 5**_In Gilbert's room_

Gilbert: "So this is my bedroom, Roddy. I hope you like it! Here, sit on my bed."

Roderich: "Thank you. Oh! This bed is quite comfortable! Will you join me?"

Gilbert: "I'd love to!" _He sits down on the bed._

Director Hungary: "GUYS! Don't you read the script? It says, 'sit on the bed with your leg touching Roderich's. But you're sitting a mile apart right now. MOVE CLOSER."

Gilbert: "Okay, OKAY!" _He makes a movement_"Roderich…It is getting late so—"

Director Hungary: "CLOSER. Don't make me bring out my pan."

Gilbert: "Ugh, it's nothing personal but, I don't want to be so close to dear Roddy. He's bad enough normally, but with all this makeup he just looks like a woman without boobs."

Director Hungary: "if it makes you feel any better, this is the last scene we're shooting today."

Gilbert: "Oh! In that case, COME HERE RODDY~"

Roderich: "Don't use that perverted tone with me, Gilbert."

Director Hungary: "QUIET! We're starting where you left off…3..2..1.."

Gilbert: "Roderich…It is getting late so will you stay here tonight?"

Roderich: "Oh, I couldn't possibly!" _He says timidly, while leaning closer to Gilbert._

Director Hungary: "UGHH! Roderich, what part of 'lean into Gilbert and place your head on his shoulder' don't you understand? AGAIN!"

Roderich: "Oh, I couldn't _possibly_!" _He says timidly, while putting his head on Gilbert's shoulder._

Gilbert: "OWWWWW! HE JUST BIT MY SHOULDER! GET OFF YOU MORON!"

Roderich: "DON'T PUSH ME, YOU IMBECILE."

Director Hungary: "SHUT UP BOTH OF YOU. Lithuania, force them together if you must."

Toris: "Eh? But that wouldn't be very nice…"

Roderich: "All right all right! I admit I should not have used violence like a barbarian. Let's just get this over with already."

_Roderich sighed and this time gingerly puts his head on Gilbert's shoulder._

Gilbert: "Would you mind if we shared this bed?"

Roderich: _he mutters_"Of course I mind you insolent little—" _he speaks louder "_I mean, I would love to, Gilbert dear." _He stares at one spot of Gilbert's neck, trying to somehow burn a hole there._

Gilbert: "O Roderich~ You feel so soft…Let me take off your jacket for you!"

Roderich: "YOU—HE—ELIZAVETA! Surely he wouldn't be allowed to touch me and _undress_ me?"

Director Hungary: "What are you TALKING about? _Obviously_ he's going to touch you and undress you. That's kind of the whole point."

Roderich: "But I was under the impression that—"

Gilbert: "Oh would you shut up Roddy? I just want to go home so I can bother Ludwig."

_He made a motion to take Roderich's jacket off, and Roderich grudgingly complies._

Gilbert: "Roderich~ Let me taste your sweet, tempting lips (which are accentuated by your lovely beauty mark)."

Poland: "Ugh, I hate to say this but, Gilbert's totally right this time. _Who_ wrote this script? It's like, so sickening I'm totally dying of **barfness**right now."

Director Hungary: "Don't make me put barf on your designs. Now where were we?"

Roderich: "Your lips aren't that bad either, Gilbert. Uh, Gilbert..GILBERT…GIL—"

Director Hungary: "YES. YES. GILBERT, AMAZING JOB! KEEP GROPING!"

Roderich: "GETOFF YOU—DON'T TOUCH ME _THERE_! DEAR GOD!"

Director Hungary: "Gilbert. LEAN IN FOR A KISS."

_Both Gilbert and Roderich stare at her. Neither move._

Gilbert: "Now, now, Elizaveta, I draw the line at kissing. I mean, swapping saliva with _him_? Groping is fine, but no exchange of bodily fluids please. Now can we go home?"

Roderich: "Elizaveta Hedevary, I suggest we go home and find a psychiatrist. This is unacceptable."

Director Hungary: "It's either this or France. Take your pick."

_Gilbert and Roderich stare at each other. They sigh._

Roderich: "Fair enough. Gilbert, let's just agree that this never happened."

Gilbert: "Fine, fine, I just hope you don't get too blown away by my awesome kissing skills."

_They lean in towards each other. Roderich's eyes are tightly shut, refusing to look at Gilbert. Gilbert, however, stared as Roderich's lips came closer and closer…Oh god, were they shiny. As those pink, shiny things are almost touching his lips, he acts on reflex and throws Roderich off the bed._

Gilbert: "You know what Elizaveta? Fuck this. I'd rather deal with France than pink, shiny MANLIPS any day. Bye~"

Roderich: "Elizaveta, it's killing me to say this but, he is right. I think I shall find Francis more pleasant than this nonsense. I'm leaving."

Director Hungary: "Wait—WAIT GUYS! The show was just getting good too! COME BACK. If you walk away now, I'll _photoshop_ the rest! With Japan's help! Trust me, you wouldn't want that!..."

_Gilbert and Roderich continue to run away, Gilbert already forgetting this whole ordeal and running like a child, and Roderich running gracefully._

**EPILOGUE:**

_With the footage she already had, Director Hungary released the first episode of her TV show titled "Cute Love"._

_It was a smashing success, with astronomical sales in France and Japan. It was banned in China._

_The media reviews have mostly been positive, with Director Hungary invited as a guest on "The Awesome Show" currently hosted by Poland and Lithuania._

_It has been confirmed that a second episode will be made._

_However, it would seem that all the leading actors have filed restraining orders on Director Hungary._

END

* * *

China, why so uptight?


	2. Episode 2

I do not own anything.

Director Hungary tries to satisfy her craving for cute boy love in an all-new episode.

Same format as before: Normal font = Dialogue

_Italics_ = Narrator's point of view; describes what is happening at that moment.

Director: Hungary

Assistant: France

Script writer: Hungary & France

Camera: Hungary

Costume Design: Poland

Makeup Artist: Poland

Running Errands: Prussia

**PROLOGUE**

_Unfortunately, last episode's lead actors are unable to return due to family reasons. Director Hungary would like you to acknowledge that whatever rumor you have heard around this issue is**completely false**. For example, the lead actors have filed charges against her for making them sign a certain contract against their will. This is completely ridiculous. She would like to warmly welcome new actors, as well as an addition to the production team! She is sure that he would bring much-needed creativity and warmth to the set._

Director Hungary: "LET'S GO PEOPLE! The second episode has to be out next week!"

Assistant France: "We're rolling in trois…deux…un…"

**EPISODE 2**

**Scene 1**_In the kitchen_

Alfred: "Arthur! You're up bright and early! Come, let me cook you a burger for breakfast!"

Arthur: "Ew no, are you bloody kidding me? Burger for breakfast? That's gross!"

Assistant France: "CUT! Non, non, Arthur, darling!"

Director Hungary: "Arthur, you were supposed to sigh dreamily and say, 'what a glorious breakfast to remind us of what happened last night!'"

Arthur: "…Huh? What happened last night?"

_Assistant France snickers._

Director Hungary: "Last night, you and Alfred came back from a club in New York and did it all night. Francis said it would help build drama in the script."

Arthur: _he chokes on air. "_HEY what are you saying? I certainly did no such thing!" _His eyebrows look extra thick against his now blanched face._

Assistant France: "My cherry," _he says because he is banned from saying "mon cherie". Arthur shudders._"How should I put this... It is only a script."

Arthur: "…Oh. OH. In that case, fine, because I totally never did anything with Alfred, you know."

Alfred: "Ouch Arthur. That hurts. Remember that time when you tried to make me drunk but then you got drunk instead and we came to my place and you tried to—"

_Arthur's face darkens, and he immediately puts his hand over Alfred's mouth._

Arthur: "BE QUIET. You are being unprofessional."

Alfred: "But—"

Arthur: _he says in an over-loud, melodramatic voice,_"OH ALFRED! What a GLORIOUS MORNING! Don't trouble your pretty head; let me make you some breakfast!"

Everyone on the set: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Director Hungary: "Quick, Gilbert, get him away from the kitchen while you still can!"

_Gilbert grabs a flabbergasted Arthur and pulls him off the set._

_Director Hungary then asks Gilbert where the substitute is. Gilbert shrugs and answers, "I don't know. Wait…We had a substitute? How come I never saw him?"_

_Everyone runs around in confusion, trying to find the replacement. Weird, the chair labeled "substitute" seems to be empty…_

**Scene 2** _Still in the kitchen_

Matthew: "Uh, guys? Are you looking for me?"

Assistant France: "Ah, there you are my dear boy! Come here and give your big brother Francis a hug!"

Matthew: "Ah, sure?"

Alfred: "Don't do it, Matt. You know that's just an excuse to grope your butt."

Director Hungary: "We're behind schedule! Let's move! 3..2..1.."

Matthew: "Hey Alfred! I brought over some maple syrup! You want to make some pancakes?"

Alfred: "Sure thing! Ah, I sure miss Canadian maple syrup! Matt~ Can you feed some to me?"

_He half-closes his eyes, pouts and leans forward. Director Hungary flashes a thumbs-up._

Matthew: "Um, Alfred? There isn't a spoon."

Director Hungary: _she facepalms._"YOU HAVE A HAND. Just dip some on your finger and feed it to him."

Matthew: "Eh, okay."

Assistant France: "Come on boy! Say it with _l'amour_! Like, 'Alfred, you naughty boy!"

_Everyone on set shudders._

Matthew: "Um. Alfred! You…uh…naughty boy!" _He proceeds in dipping his index finger into the jar of maple syrup and extends it towards Alfred._

Alfred: "Mmm! Delicious!" _He sucks on Matthew's finger._

Matthew: "Um, Alfred? You can let go of my finger now."

Director Hungary: "QUIET, Matthew! He's doing a fantastic job. He's supposed to _keep going_ from your finger, to your arm, then your neck, then you lips, then your—"

Matthew: "EH? But you only told me to show up with maple syrup—"

Alfred: "Come on Matt! It's going to be fun!" _He gives Matthew the Hero Smile._

Matthew: _he goes red._"Alfred, you should know better! You still owe me tons of stuff, you know. When are you going to return them huh Alfred? I got beat up again the other day because you decided shoving burgers in people's faces was a polite thing to do. Seriously, how about being more considerate of me for once? You know, your police force can totally treat us Canadians better. Have you heard of the word 'nice'? Just the other day I heard that one of my citizens had an awful experience with you—"

Assistant France: "Oh no. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Not this again." _He groans miserably._

Alfred: "But Matt you know I love you…" _He looks away, embarrassed as tears start brimming in his eyes. Dammit. He's seriously going to cry again, just like last time._

Director Hungary: "Oh heavens above. Gilbert, get Matthew off the set would you? This could take a while."

_Gilbert mutters, "What the hell. Just when I dumped a package of salt into the maple syrup and was going to enjoy a good laugh when America tries to eat it too…" he shakes his head, and carries Matthew off the set. Matthew doesn't appear to notice, and keeps ranting. Indeed, it could be a while before he stops._

_The crew, meanwhile, moves to a different set._

**Scene 3**_In the field_

Assistant France: "Yes! The next scene features someone very close to my heart, so let's try to make it extra sexy! Trois…deux…un…"

Lovino: "Spain! What the hell is this?"

Poland: "OHMYGAWD. Lovino, you look so drab! Here, let Feliks make you look fab! Let's see, eyeliner, mascara, and definitely some blush…"

Lovino: "Don't you dare come any closer, you cross-dressing bastard. Wait…WHY is the brother of the potato bastard here?"

Poland: "Oh, him? Well, since Alfred had to come here to film the show, Liet went to look after things in America! Ehmygod, I was totally jealous too! Some alien picked up Liet in an UFO! Like, what a _posh_ ride, you know what I mean?"

Spain: "My dear Lovino! Your cheeks look so endearingly adorable, especially in the midst of this tomato field!"

Lovino: "Spain, what the HELL are you saying?"

Spain: "You're so cute Lovino~ Come here so I can caress your lovely cheeks!"

Lovino: "Wait Spain! People are _watching_, goddammit! Don't—DON'T COME CLOSER!"

Director Hungary: "GOOD! GREAT! You just go and get him, Antonio!"

Gilbert: "God, Elizaveta, at least TRY to sound less excited, won't you?"

_Spain manages to pull on Lovino's curl. Lovino immediately starts swearing uncontrollably._

Lovino: "YOU BASTARD, I'm going to fucking send the Mafia after you for the REST OF YOUR LIFE and then you'll wish you were never born LET GOOOOO."

Spain: "Ah, I forgot you don't like to be touched there! I apologize!"

Director Hungary: "Wait what? NO! Spain, follow the damned script! Caress his curl from the top slowly and softly, while holding his swooning body in your strong, manly arms!"

Poland: "Ehh I'm kinda scared! Why does Hungary have the expression of a rabid dog?"

_Spain hesitantly catches Lovino again and starts rubbing a tomato on his cheeks._

Lovino: "AAAROUUGGSHGGHGHGGHG! WHAT are you rubbing on my face, goddammit?"

Spain: "Weh? It's just a tomato."

Lovino: "—Then why isn't it coming off my face—HOLY SHIT I hope this is not _blood_ god DAMN IT!"

_Off the set, Gilbert can be seen laughing uncontrollably, snorting and rolling on the floor._

Director Hungary: "WEILLSCHMIDT! What did you do?"

Gilbert: "Oh, nothing much. I just cut out a hole in that tomato and filled it with superglue. Right back at you, Elizaveta!" _He winks at her._"This is your reward for wanting me to make out with Roddy's shiny manlips last time. I know, I know. I'm so awesome you can't even stand it."

Director Hungary: "…Get out."

Gilbert: "Make me."

Director Hungary: "Oh no you don't—"

_She starts chasing Gilbert around the set with a freshly polished pan, yelling blasphemies while Gilbert laughs maniacally._

Lovino: "SPAIN YOU…I-I FUCKING HATE YOU!" _He starts crying and runs off._

Spain: "Weh! Lovino! Come back here! Let me wipe your face!" _He sighs and takes after Lovino and mutters, "what am I going to do with that boy?"_

Assistant France: "Oh I know! Why don't you give him to me, Spain? I'll take good care of him and you can get him off your back—"

Spain: "…Get that obscene look off your face, Francis." _He says with a bright smile on his face. "Lovino!" he called out. "Let's go home!" Distantly, a flustered "GO. AWAY." could be heard._

**EPILOGUE**

_After extensive editing, the famous Director Hungary managed to release the second episode of "Cute Love", titled "Aphrodisiacs". She got the celebrated Professor Estonia to publish a scientific study, proving that hamburgers, maple syrup, and tomatoes indeed have the potential to be aphrodisiacs when employed properly. "To know the details," she says mysteriously in an interview, "you'll just have to watch the episode!"_

_The sales were even higher this time. Even a certain Austrian was seen buying a copy. For more information on that, tune in to "The Awesome Show" hosted by Poland and Lithuania!_

_The series is still banned in China. However, a series of protests headed by an androgynous-looking guy with a cute panda is going on all across China, trying to lift the ban so China can get a taste of Director Hungary's greatness too._

END

* * *

Sketch 'itch wanted SpainxRomano and xxXTheXFallenXxx wanted AmericaxCanada and this is the first time I attempted to write them because I always write about Prussia, Austria and Hungary and so I hope you guys aren't terribly disappointed with me!


	3. Episode 3

I do not own anything.

Director Hungary continues her new-found passion.

Same format as before: Normal font = Dialogue

_Italics_ = Narrator's point of view; describes what is happening at that moment.

Director: Hungary

Assistant: Japan

Script writer: Hungary & Japan

Music producer: Austria

Camera: Hungary

Costume Design: Poland

Makeup Artist: Poland

Running Errands: Lithuania

**PROLOGUE**

_Director Hungary would like to welcome China to the set today, as him being on the show might help lift his government's ban on the fabulous "Cute Love"._

Director Hungary: "Alright people, let's go!

**EPISODE 3**

**Scene 1**_ In the cherry blossom garden_

_All the cherry blossom trees were in full bloom. A pretty man—so pretty you could say that he looks almost girly—is leaning against one. Soft, dreamy oriental music float out of no where. Light, pink petals were falling in swirls._

Director Hungary: "CUT! There are not enough petals falling! Lithuania, gather more petals and dump them into the air all at once! And please go turn up the fan!"

_Light, pink petals were now falling rapidly in huge swirls, creating a truly mystic effect._

Assistant Japan: "I must compliment you on the music, Director Hungary. It is quite magnificent."

Director Hungary: "Isn't it? I made Roderich bring his whole orchestra from Vienna since he violated the contract last time! Okay, we're starting in 3..2..1.."

Wang Yao: "Ah, what a beautiful day! I wonder who I shall meet today in this garden of fate, aru?"

Assistant Japan: "Ah, excuse me, China! Please refrain from saying 'aru'. It destroys the whole poetic rhyme of the line."

Wang Yao: "Sorry, aru! I mean, sorry!"

Director Hungary: "Okay. Let's keep going."

Wang Yao: "Wait, what is the surprise that you said you planned for me?"

Director Hungary: "…You'll see."

Wang Yao: "Ah, what a beautiful day! I wonder who I shall meet today in this garden of fate?"

_In the distance, a dark, shadowy shape can be seen. It comes closer…and closer…The oriental music gets more mysterious and intense. The shape can be seen more clearly now…_

Wang Yao: "OH MY GOD (aru). IS THAT A 182CM SHINATTY-CHAN I SEE? YAYYYYY!" _he runs towards it happily._

Shinatty-chan: "My darling China! Come here, you!" _He/she extends a pair of manly-looking arms towards Wang Yao. Wang Yao eagerly runs into them, and Shinatty promptly started crushing him in a death-strangle hug._

Director Hungary: "Hey hey HEY! Don't get over-excited too soon, Shinatty!"

_Shinatty-chan takes off the costume head._

Wang Yao: "…" _He faints. His body drops like a piece of noodle._

Russia: "Wah! Yaoooo! Wake up, wake up! It's only me, Ivan! Hey! What's wrong with you? I'm only here to greet you!"

Assistant Japan: "Lithuania! Please go help China! His survival may depend on it!"

Lithuania: "YES SIR!"

_He rushes towards Wang Yao, picks him up, and carries him off the set. Since whatever Toris touches always regains the will to live, Yao's life is saved._

Poland: "You know, Liet's totally **magical**. Hey, Liet! Do you feel like becoming my personal nurse? I'll pay you like, lots!"

Wang Yao: "…Huh? What the—GET HIM AWAYYYY FROM ME! 他很坏的!" _(*scroll to the bottom to see translation)_

Russia: "What? Why do you not want to see me? I'm so sad!"

Wang Yao: "Because you're freaking scary! 吓死我了，哎呀~" _(*scroll to the bottom to see translation)_

Director Hungary: "Stop wasting time and complaining, Yao. Chop, chop! 3..2..1.."

**Scene 2 **_Under the tree_

Russia: "My dear Yao! It must be fate that we meet here today! Do you want to take a walk in this misty garden with me?"

Wang Yao: _he mumbles something like "Come on Yao, think about your country, this is for your country!" before swallowing and saying, _"Oh I'd love to!"

Russia: "I am so happy to see you~ I missed you so much~"

Wang Yao: "I wish I can say the same, buddy."

Russia: "Why have you been avoiding my phone calls? I even tried to visit, but was thrown out rudely!"

Wang Yao: "Wait a minute—why are you pushing me against the tree? Hey watch it! Don't you pull on my ponytail!"

Russia: "What? I'm just trying to make up for the time lost between us! Aww, your hair is so silky smooth!"

Assistant Japan: "Ah, Ivan-san, if you don't mind, please start feeling him up against the tree."

Russia: "Oh I'd love to! In fact, Lithuania, my darling, why don't you join us?" _He gives Toris a creeper smile._

Toris: "EHH? Uh, Elizaveta, surely I, as merely an errand runner, wouldn't be allowed to act?"

Director Hungary: _she thinks about it for a minute. _"Quite the contrary, Lithuania. Go on, get your butt up there. **A threesome!** That's _so_ sweet. Why didn't I think of that? Russia, great job! You'll get a bonus later! 3..2..1.."

Toris: "But—but—but—POLAND! You don't approve, do you?"

Poland: "Eh Hungary, he's got a point. Russia's soooooo scary~~"

Director Hungary: "Ah Poland! I forgot! You get to dress up Liet however you want! You even get to put makeup on him!"

Poland: "SWEET! LIET LIET LIET COME HEREEE, like RIGHT NOW! Let me make you look _fabulous_!"

Toris: "WHAT? POLANDDD! What kind of a friend are you? TONY IS WAY BETTER AHHHH!"

_Poland the Bad Friend strikes again._

**Scene 3 **_Still under the tree_

_Toris looks up timidly, his large, smoky eyes blinking alluringly, his eyebrows gracefully arched, his soft, pink lips slightly parted._

Poland: "Awww Liet! You look so positively adorable! You're really pretty, ya know. If only you let me dress you up more often…"

Russia: "Lithuania! China! Come here so we can at last become one!"

Director Hungary: "You know, this is probably Russia's dream come true. It's so inspirational how we can help accomplish other people's dreams, right Japan?"

Japan: "…Quite so. I'm glad too."

_Suddenly, the door to the set crashes open with a loud bang._

Finland: "TORIS ARE YOU OKAY?"

Director Hungary: "What the fuck?"

_Toris and Wang Yao can be seen running tearfully towards Tino._

Toris: "FINLAND! You just saved my life!"

Wang Yao: "…I'll build a China Town in your honor!"

Finland: "Ah, I'm sorry if I came late! When Roderich phoned me and told me that Russia forced _both of you_ to have a **threesome** with him—I almost died! Me and Su-san came as fast as we could! We were fearing for your lives the whole way too!"

Sweden: "…People these days..."

_Suddenly, a whole wall crumbles in an ear-splitting crash._

Belarus: "Nii-san? NII-SAN? Where are you? I heard that Lithuania and China were trying to force you to have a threesome with them! Don't worry, I'm here to save you so we can get married married married! WHERE ARE YOU?"

Russia: _He looks like he wants to puke _"S-Sister darling! Where did you hear such rumors? We were just having a great time!"

Belarus: "Nii-san, don't lie to me! I know those bastards are trying to seduce you! Austria phoned me and told me so! I was so mad that I almost forgot to bring my knives! Nii-san, can I kill them now?"

_Roderich walks calmly out of the music room._

Roderich: "Ah, Natalia, that wouldn't be necessary. I will make sure that they get punished severely. Meanwhile, don't you wish to escort your dear brother from this place where he can get seduced? I'm sure you two will enjoy yourselves much more in, say, a marriage chapel."

Belarus: "Thanks so much for everything, Roderich! I couldn't bear it if Nii-san got raped! Next time you want someone dead, just call me okay? I owe you one! Come on, Nii-san, I researched ten different churches, we can visit them all! Then we can get married married married married married…."

_Belarus drags Russia out of the set cheerfully._

Director Hungary: "…Oh, great. This is freaking wonderful. My set is destroyed, and my lead actor's gone."

Roderich: "Oh, I'm so sorry Elizaveta!" _he walks calmly back into the music room, satisfied with himself. Even Austrian paybacks are so much more graceful than Prussian ones._

Assistant Japan: "Oh, I have an idea if you don't mind, Hungary-san. Why don't we just invite Sweden and Finland to act?" _He whispers intensely into Director Hungary's ear._

Director Hungary: "Oh. OH. Okay. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Great. I see where you're going with this…"

**Scene 4 **_In the bedroom_

_Sweden is sitting on the bed in a manly fashion. Finland is sitting on a chair nearby._

Sweden: "…Let's sleep."

Finland: "Oh, you go ahead. I think I'm just going to—"

Sweden: "What? You're not going to sleep with me?"

Finland: "Su-san, please! I don't want to sleep just yet—"

Sweden: "But we always sleep together back at home."

Director Hungary: "Aww Japan! What a lovely line you wrote there in the script!"

Assistant Japan: "But I didn't write it."

Finland: "S-Su-san! Please don't say things like that!"

Sweden: "But you are m'wife! Don't you like sleeping with me?"

Finland: "We don't _always_ sleep together!"

Sweden: "Ah, I see how it is. Okay, you get the bed then, I'll just sleep on the floor."

_He takes a blanket and squishes himself into the narrow space on the floor._

Finland: "Su-san! Don't be like this! It's okay! I'll sleep with you!"

Director Hungary: "CUT! That was perfect! Sweden, what an inspirational performance!"

Sweden: "Huh? But I wasn't acting. Me and m'wife always sleep together back in—"

Finland: "SU-SAN! LET'S GO HOME! YEAH!"

_Finland drags a confused-looking Sweden out of the set. At least the conveniently-placed broken wall makes for an easy escape._

Director Hungary: _she sighs_ "Even with this, I don't think we have enough footage…"

Assistant Japan: "Oh, not to worry Hungary-san! With this, we can use this and do that and we can make it look like Russia was xxxing China and yyying Lithuania and also Sweden and Finland are zzzing passionately through the night."

_Director Hungary looks like she's close to tears._

Director Hungary: "Oh, JAPAN! You know exactly what I want! I think I've found a new soul mate. We _must_ hang out together and share our experiences!"

Assistant Japan: "Hungary-san, I assure you the pleasure's all mine. Your directional skills are truly amazing! You should come to visit me and I'll show you all the techniques we use in Japan. I have all these amazing videos to show you! I have 'You're My Man' season five—"

Director Hungary: _she gasps _"NO WAY. That isn't even out yet! Why don't we go right now? I'm so excited I can't even wait!"

_Director Hungary and Assistant Japan run merrily out of the set, chatting excitedly._

Wang Yao: "Hello? HELLO? What am I supposed to do, aru? I still have to go back to a protest in China! Does anyone want to lend me a plane ticket? ARU!"

**EPILOGUE**

_The 3rd episode of the acclaimed "Cute Love" was released late because of Director Hungary's scenic trip to Japan to "help more people's dreams come true". When it did come out, however, it caused an uproar. "It's simply wonderful!" Person A comments. "I've never seen something so great in my whole life!" Person B gushes on happily. To see more exclusive interviews, please tune in to The Awesome Show._

_Notable also was the sound track of this episode. Conductor Roderich received many invitations to conduct the film score for many other productions. He also received a bill from Director Hungary for a few million dollars worth of damages to the set._

_And lastly, China is currently missing. If anyone locates him, please report to Director Hungary. Thank you for your cooperation._

END

* * *

* "他很坏的" – He's really evil; "吓死我了，哎呀~" – Scared me to death, aiyah~ in simplified Chinese.

China x Russia was a popular request, so here you go guys (I've always wanted to do Russia in a Shinatty-chan costume. No idea why). Sweden x Finland is also here because I think they're terribly cute.

If I remember correctly, Russia is indeed 182cm tall. I swear it was written somewhere…


	4. Bonus The Awesome Show

I do not own anything.

Remember how The Awesome Show is mentioned in each episode? Well, it's this part comic/part words thing that me and my friend do in my journal to get through summer school. Here is a snapshot of what happens in the Awesome Show

**The Awesome Show**

Hosts: Poland and Lithuania

Technical producer: Estonia

Makeup and costumes: Poland

Guests: Austria, Prussia, Hungary, as well as audience members.

**After episode 1 of Director Hungary's TV show:**

Lithuania: "Feliks, we're going on air in 5..4..3.."

Poland: "WAIT LIET! My makeup is not ready. Now, tell Estonia, if he dares pressing that ON AIR button when I can't find my most gorgeous hairpin—"

Lithuania: "Would this be it?"

Poland: "OH YAY you found it Liet! You're _sooooooo_ sweet! Oh by the way Liet, you need to change into your dress."

Lithuania: "I thought we talked about this already—Ugh. Fine. Can we just get this over with now? I kind of want to visit Mr. Whales."

Poland: "Okay! I officially look fabulous enough for the show now. Eeeeeek! I'm like so excited I can't even say how excited I am!"

_The lights brighten. Estonia presses the ON AIR button. Feliks wrinkles his nose. **Why does this room reek of money?**_

Poland: "HEY GUYS! It's me, Feliks!"

Lithuania: "And I'm Toris. We are here with some exclusive clips from Director Hungary's new show."

Poland: "You totally can't see them anywhere else! Oh, here are our guests!"

_The audience claps politely._

Lithuania: "So, Gilbert, Roderich, how did you two feel about being on the show?"

Gilbert: "It was a blast!"

Roderich: "It was awful."

_They say at the same time._

Gilbert: "Hey Roddy, don't be such a depressing prat. You gotta admit it was fun."

Roderich: "I regret that I must inform you of certain things that I found utterly unacceptable during my experiences on the show—"

Poland: "Eh my god, Austria. Did you like, prepare a _speech_? Because I totally think you're holding a ten-page-long speech right now."

_Gilbert grabs the sheets and tears them to shreds._

Roderich: "HEY! You impertinent imbecile! I spent all last night preparing that too!"

Gilbert: "Listen to him guys. This is what he does as a pastime. Elizaveta, how about ditching him and moving in with me? We'll have so much more fun! Now, Roddy, who even knows what 'impertinent' means and who the hell cares? I say you really could have used my _kiss of awesome_ on the show last time."

Roderich: "Need I remind you that **you** were the one who threw **me** off the bed?"

Gilbert: "Psh, you know that's because I refuse to eat lip gloss. Since you don't have any on right now, do you wanna try again?"

_He leans closer to Roderich. Roderich cringes._

Director Hungary: "Don't move, Gilbert! Let me get out my camera first."

_Gilbert stops when his face is only inches from Roderich's. Suddenly he leaps back._

Gilbert: "Roderich, did you just try to kick my five meters?"

Roderich: "I most certainly did not, thank you very much."

_He did._

Director Hungary: "Oh yes. Delicious drama."

Lithuania: "Guys! We're OFF TOPIC. So, what did you guys do after the show?"

Gilbert: "Well, since we were going to face our doom at France's house the next day, the only thing to do was to go have some beer."

Director Hungary: "That's right. I know because I followed them afterwards and videotaped the whole thing."

Poland: "Ahahah, I know! She sent it to me like, right after, and I took one look at it and was like, oh my gosh, this _totally_ needs to be on the show! It's **fantabulous**. So here you go guys. Estonia, be a darling and roll the clip!"

_The clip starts rolling. Both Gilbert and Roderich look like they want to eat Hungary alive. Hungary was grinning a grin that would put Belarus to shame._

_(Italics = the clip,_normal = presently on the show)

_**AT THE BAR**_

_Gilbert: "So Roddy, you want some beer?"_

_Roderich: "No thanks, Gilbert; unlike you, Austrians are upright citizenswho do not indulge in alcohol."_

_Gilbert: "Oh really. I bet you just can't drink as much as me."_

_Roderich: "Keep dreaming, Gilbert. Anything you can do, I can do better."_

_Gilbert: "Oh no you don't. Nobody beats me at drinking. Believe me, West tried."_

**Audience shot:**

Ludwig: "WHAT? But Gilbert, last time we had a drinking contest, you were stuffing Euros into drunken Arthur's pants and passed out on top of him!"

_Arthur went blue with shock and slipped out of the studio. Francis can be seen jotting something down in a little black book he named 'Blackmail' with an obscene look on his face._

Gilbert: "I remember no such thing. And if the Awesome Me doesn't remember it, it didn't happen."

Ludwig: "That's because you were DRUNK!"

Gilbert: "I don't remember being drunk and therefore I was not drunk. The Awesome Me says so. Maybe _you_ were drunk and that's why you hallucinated that I was drunk. West, your alcohol tolerance stinks.

_Ludwig slapped his hand onto his forehead. Japan patted him sympathetically. Italy took this as an excuse for a hug._

**End of Audience Shot**

_Back to the clip_

_Roderich: "You just keep on thinking that."_

_Gilbert: "Don't use that tone with me. I bet I can drink ten times more than you."_

_Roderich: "Sure."_

_Gilbert: "Okay, how about we set up a bet? If you win, I'll take your punishment and spend **two** weeks with Francis. If I win, I get Elizaveta for one day."_

_Roderich could not resist the temptation of that offer. NO FRANCIS?_

_Roderich: "Oh, you're on."_

_A silent drinking and staring contest then ensued._

The Batman theme came through the speakers over the audio of the video.

Poland: "What's with the batman theme, Estonia? It's totally not fabulous."

Estonia: "Wahh sorry, the system must be broken! I'll fix it immediately… oh look I touched it and it fixed itself! Oh wait, NO! LATVIAAAAAAAAA!"

Silence settled over the studio audience. Over the loudspeaker, the studio audience can hear scuffling, crying, a faint animal noise, followed by Estonia's angry shout, "HOW THE HELL DID A SHEEP GET IN HERE!" It died down after a few minutes and Estonia announced that everything was taken care of and Latvia was taken to the hospital for trauma and abuse by sheep. The clip continued to roll.

_*** Two Hours Later ***_

_Gilbert: "R-Roderich! I-I'm so awesome! Why don't you think I'm awesome? Ah, I hate you so much! Y-you take away my best friend, turn her into a fucking woman, and then y-you keep calling me an imterpinent imbecile, though you're the one who keeps playing the goddamned piano to express your wussiness…" His head drops on the table._

_Roderich: "Gilbert, you're drunk."_

_Gilbert: "N-no I'm not, what are you talking about, wuss? As if you can outdrink me…"_

_Roderich: "Say, why'd you want to get Elizaveta for a day anyway?"_

_Gilbert: "I diddd it just to piss you off, stupid."_

_Roderich: "Okay Gilbert, how many fingers am I holding up?"*he waves his hand*_

_Gilbert: "Three-wait no, EIGHT!"_

_Roderich: "Gilbert, you really are drunk. I was only holding up two fingers. You lose."_

_Gilbert: "Wa-wait! I can still…" He crashes to the floor._

_Roderich: "You know, Gilbert, when can you ever learn that I can beat you in anything? Just because I don't drink doesn't mean I can't drink. Who said you were the only one who had drinking contests with Ludwig?"_

_Roderich shakes his head and carries Gilbert to his house. Gilbert tried to lick Roderich's ear and assault his vital regions the whole way; but thankfully was too drunk to do any real damage._

_The clip stops rolling._

Gilbert: "Wait! WAIT! This is a fraud! No such thing happened!"

_However, Gilbert's protest is drowned out._

Estonia: "And that is the end of the first segment of 'The Awesome Show'. We will be back right after these messages."

Buy Austria's autographed piano **NOW**!

**Expressing your anger has never been easier!**

Now back to the show!

* * *

The last bit is supposed to be an ad. In my journal it totally had a picture and fancy writing and everything. Oh well, I hope you'll still buy the piano so you can express your anger easier.


	5. Episode 4

I do not own anything.

Director Hungary produces the 4th episode.

Same format as before: Normal font = Dialogue

_Italics_ = Narrator's point of view; describes what is happening at that moment.

Director: Hungary

Assistant: France

Script writer: Hungary & France

Music producer: Austria

Camera: Hungary

Costume Design: Poland

Makeup Artist: Poland

Running Errands: Temporarily none. The job is up for grabs.

**PROLOGUE**

_China has been found under the most mysterious circumstances. According to him, Conductor Roderich took him to buy a plane ticket, but then they got lost. However, Germany was able to locate them and told him to never, ever go anywhere with Roderich again. Then, as they were going to Germany's place, a pretty Shinatty-chan in a blue-and-white dress appeared and sweetly led him away. He says he did not remember anything after that. Germany found him afterwards alone and confused near North-East China. If anyone has any idea what happened, please send an email to The Awesome Show!_

_The last errands runner has refused to come back due to trauma. The position is now open. If you're interested, please contact Director Hungary!_

Director Hungary: "All right guys! Let's have a good shooting today okay? As soon as we're done we'll go out and celebrate the one-month anniversary of our show!"

**Scene 1** _Outside the pet shop_

Greece: "Kiku! I'm going to buy you a kitty!"

Japan: "Ah, Heracles-san! I don't think I feel comfortable with being here."

Greece: "Uh, isn't this the show where people make out passionately and stuff?"

Japan: "Quite so. This is why I'm not—"

Greece: _he pouts _"But that's the only reason why I came here with you!"

Japan: "Heracles-san! Please don't say things like that!"

Assistant France: "Aww, aren't they so…_cute_? If only Arthur would say things like that…Oh, how I would cuddle him then…" _he sighs dreamily._

Director Hungary: "Thank you for the mental image, Assistant France. Now, let's keep going!"

Greece: "But you're always so shy! I thought being here would encourage you! Ah, don't you remember the last time I taught you that lesson? Wasn't that so fun? I promise you it hurts less and less! We'll make sure China isn't there to complain about the noise either. They even have a slight breeze in here; it'll feel so good!"

Japan: "SHUT UP. N-NOTHING HAPPENED LAST TIME! I-I have to go."

_Japan runs for it while everyone is momentarily shocked with hearing Japan use the shocking term "shut up". Japan relaxed. Shocking everyone with coarse language and then running away works every single time. Yes, genius._

**Scene 2 **_In the pet shop_

Director Hungary: "Everyone, don't panic. I brought a backup actor just in case. Let's go! 3..2..1.."

Greece: "Oh, well. I'll still go look at the kitties. Ah, excuse me! Can you please let me see this kitty right here?"

Turkey: "Sure!" _he takes the cat out of the cage. _"Here you go!"

Assistant France: "NON! Turkey, darling, you have to _purr_ when you hand the cat to him. Get it? _Purrrrrr_. Let's try that again."

_Everyone shudders involuntarily._

Turkey: "Sure!" _he hands the cat to Greece. _"Herrrrreee you go!" _he rolls his tongue and purrs sexily._

Greece: "Oh my, you do have a lovely purr! That turns me on so—ewww. I can't say this."

Director Hungary: "Why the hell not?"

Greece: "Because **Homer wouldn't approve**."

Director Hungary: "So sue me. Homer's been dead for 2000 years. Let's start again at 'your purr turns me on so much'!"

_Someone barges in the door._

Poland: "EHMYGAWD! Sorry I'm so totally late! My hair stylist cancelled on me (can you believe it?), so then I had to reschedule my manicure session so I can fit in my dress fitting, but then oh poop, the dress _wouldn't fit_! But in the end I totally got it to work. Ta-da! Don't I look fantabulous?"

Director Hungary: "WE'RE NEVER GOING TO BE DONE AT THIS RATE. Let's GO."

Poland: "HOLY PONIES! Turkey, what is that hideous thing you're wearing on your face? Come here so I can make you decent-looking for the show!"

Turkey: "No way. That is my mask of manliness. Under no conditions will I—"

_Despite Turkey's scary expression, Poland rips the mask off of him. "I must be strong in the name of fashion!" he says to himself._

Turkey: "Ugh. I look hideous."

Director Hungary: "No you don't. In fact, I quite like it. It makes you look so much more touchable. Good job, Poland!"

Poland: "Eh, no problem!"

Turkey: "…Greece, here's the stupid cat. Take it."

Assistant France: "CUT! That wouldn't do at all! You must brush his hand _just so_ while you hand over the kitty, and your other hand should reach back for a necessary grope. This is how we do it in France!"

Director Hungary: "Wow, Assistant France! How very insightful! Now, everyone! I want you to act as if you lived in **Francisland**!"

_Ominous bars of Beethoven's Symphony No. 5 suddenly begins playing softly in the background. Then, Chopin's Funeral March in Bb minor is played mournfully on the piano._

Director Hungary: "RODERICH. What's with the death march?" _she gives him a death glare._

Roderich: "Well, you said to act like I lived in Francisland."

Director Hungary: "—and by that I meant you should go make out with Gilbert, and then give the film to me as a Valentine's day present!"

Roderich: "But if I lived in Francisland I would kill myself. So right now I'm expressing how dead I'll be with the piano. Do you comprehend?"

Director Hungary: "…Roderich, you just wait until we get home. MOVING ON."

Assistant France: "Where were we? Ah oui, where you're supposed to grope. All right then! Trois…deux…un…"

Turkey: "Here's your kitty!" _he steps towards Greece and pinches Greece's butt._

Greece: "Hey! Only Kiku can touch me there, bastard!" _He steps forward as well and punches Turkey in the face._

Turkey: "I'll touch wherever I want, punk. In fact, why don't I touch your **^%%#$# now—"

Greece: "That's it. Aristotle, Eratothenes, Pythagoras, Socrates, Thales, Plato! Go scratch that bastard's eyes out!" _he sent out his kitties of fury after Turkey. Turkey, it turns out, can retreat even faster than Italians trapped with no pasta._

Poland: "WAIT! You forgot your mask! Come back! HEY! I'm so totally not going to mail it to you!"

**Scene 3 **_In the bar_

Poland: "Mr. Bartender? What is that pink drink with blue swirls in it? Oh, really? It's bubblegum flavored? SWEET! Gimme one, gimme one!"

Assistant France: "Darling Elizabeth, are you absolutely sure we can find nobody better?"

Director Hungary: "What else am I supposed to do? Even my extra actor's gone now."

Assistant France: "Ah, but I'm sure there are others available!"

Director Hungary: "…Like?"

Assistant France: "Well…see, there's myself, for example. Oh and! Roderich is here too! _What a coincidence_! Maybe we could—"

Director Hungary: "Huh. Now that you mention it, it is rather a nice coincidence."

Roderich: "Elizaveta. Surely you cannot let my body be violated in such a way?"

Director Hungary: "Quiet. Your body doesn't get violated nearly enough."

_Poland suddenly squeals._

Poland: "OHMYGOD LIET! HOW COME YOU'RE HERE? I like, totally missed you so much!"

Lithuania: "…Huh? What? Ouch. Your bright orange dress is hurting my eyes."

Poland: "TORY. You are so not DRUNK, are you?"

_A collective "gasp" rose from the crowd._

Assistant France: "GASP! Lithuania, darling! You cannot seriously be drinking!"

Lithuania: "Quiet. My head hurts. Ugghhh. I want to die."

Poland: "Awww! But you can't die! I haven't even brought you to my favorite Chanel store yet!"

Lithuania: "What's the point of living when you are loved by Russia and in love with Belarus?"

Roderich: "Hm. The guy does have a point."

Poland: "But you still have ME right?" _he pats Liet's shoulders sympathetically._

Lithuania: _he groans and whispers _"That's kind of the problem, you know."

Poland: "Huh. I've always wondered how Liet would look like in lingerie."

Director Hungary: "Oh, I like where this is going."

Poland: "And well, he's drunk. I'm totally never going to have a chance like this ever again!"

Director Hungary: "I like the way you think, Feliks."

Poland: "Yush! I'll just dress him up in the extra set of lingerie that I brought! Oh, he'll look like such a _doll_!"

_Twenty minutes later_

Poland: "Ta-da! Doesn't he look totally adorable?"

Assistant France: "Elizabeth~ How about letting me go and make out with him?"

Poland: "HEY! Liet is totally mine! You can't, like, make out with him!"

Assistant France: "Oh, so you can?"

Poland: "Of course I can!"

Assistant France: "Alright then, why don't you prove it?"

Poland: "…Fine! I will like, totally do this!"

Roderich: _he facepalms. _"Francis, your skills of manipulation are truly impressive."

Assistant France: "Thank you. I try."

_Poland pecks Lithuania on the lips, then blushes furiously. Lithuania opens his eyes._

Lithuania: "…Huh? Natalia, did you cut your hair?"

Poland: "EHMYGAWD, Liet! I can't believe you noticed my haircut! Isn't it so posh?"

Lithuania: "For some unknown reason, you don't look so scary today." _he leans forward and touches Poland's shiny hair._

Poland: "Oh, stop it, Liet, you're making me blush~" _he starts giggling._

_A make-out session then ensued. Feel free to use your active imaginations here._

Director Hungary: "CUT! Oh, what a brilliant performance! For the first time, we have enough footage! I did not think this beautiful day would ever come!"

_She breaks down in tears. "There, there", Assistant France says comfortingly, "Sometimes we creative people have to go through much pain and suffering to bring true art to the world!"_

Director Hungary: "Yes, of course you're right, Assistant France. Shall we go and celebrate now?"

Poland: "Oooh yes, totally! I love parties! Can we go to my place, please please please? I recently painted my toilet pink and I can't wait for you guys to use it! Let's gooooo!"

_Director Hungary, Assistant France, Poland, and Austria happily leave the set, content and satisfied with themselves._

**Bonus Scene **_In the bar_

Lithuania: "—Nnnggg…My head hurts…Where am I?"

_He looks down._

Lithuania: "AAAAAHHHH! HOLY SWEET BABY JESUS! WHAT IN THE LORD'S NAME AM I WEARING?"

Bystander A: "A bra, by the looks of it."

Bystander B: "I would also assume that you are wearing a thong." _He whistles appreciatively._

Lithuania: "…."

_He passes out. But right before he does so, he asks Bystander A, "can you do me a favor and send me to the hospital in which Dr. Belarus works?"_

_He disappears into the ambulance moments later._

_**Poland the Bad Friend strikes yet again.**_

**EPILOGUE**

_Since the 4th episode of the acclaimed series "Cute Love" was aired, celebrations have been going on all over the world to commemorate the one-month anniversary since the show began airing._

_The ban in China has also been lifted. We repeat, the ban in China has been lifted._

_A tearful China was seen saying, "I've never been so happy since Chairman Mao was born, aru!" For more on China's reactions, please tune in to The Awesome Show. Also featured on the show will be Lithuania's experiences with Dr. Belarus (if he survives). If he does not, don't worry, we have also prepared a memorial show dedicated to the life and legacy of Mr. Toris Lorinaitis._

Yes, Greece named his kitties after Greek philosophers/mathematicians.

In case anyone doesn't know: Chairman Mao was the guy that communized China, so to speak. China was so in love with this sexy chairman.

* * *

**Note: As I have said on my profile, I am retiring from fanfiction. I will **_**not**_** be updating anymore. **I have already put the status of my stories to "Complete".

Thanks to everybody who had read my stories and enjoyed them! I love you all.


End file.
